May 2011
1 tag
May 14th
1 note
“Thought of the Day: ABC cancelled Brothers & Sisters. Why does life have to...”
May 14th
1 tag
May 14th
8 notes
“Thought of the Day: My life is like a Twilight movie. Except instead of sexy...”
May 13th
May 11th
“Thought of the Day: Since Heidi Montag has a completely different body, does...”
May 11th
Constipated Thoughts
I haven’t posted anything from my genius literary collection lately. I have what some people call ‘writers block’? I never heard of it until I goggled my symptoms. I tried to do it on Web MD but the only result that popped up was ‘Hypochondriasis.’  I equate writer’s block to a very slow and humiliating death. Almost immediately when you have an idea it goes right through the window. Not a real...
May 7th
“Thought of the Day: If I had a nickel for everytime I said I was going on a...”
May 1st
April 2011
“Thought of the Day: My family is big in number and dumb. Why don’t we have...”
Apr 28th
2 tags
Things you could do instead of watching the Royal...
Dance in the Dark Eat Brazil nuts till you learn Portuguese  Run in place in your head Choreograph a contemporary dance to any Twista song Streak with an insane amount of clothes on Do a Julia Robert’s laugh Love me (Easy) Blindside someone Find mindless escapism in a box of Twinkies See how many pieces of gum in you can chew at once Become a masked crime fighter Beat box to the...
Apr 28th
1 tag
Apr 28th
1 note
Things you could do instead of watching the Royal...
Pee without making any noise Read the word yawning without yawning Rap passages from Shakespeare’s The Tempest Watch the Scream movies without screaming Run around your yard and sing the hills are alive Climb the tree of life Write a 500 word essay on how cheese has changed your life Pull a weave Admire the Prince’s balding spot
Apr 26th
“I won’t be happy till I’m as famous as God.”
Apr 26th
5 tags
Things you could do instead of watching the Royal...
Rescue a litter of kittens Put on a pretend wedding with your imaginary husband Watch Titanic and cry Take a photo on Photo Booth, stare and cry Just cry Write a bitter love song Watch Glee Watch Glee drunk Eat in front of a mirror Test the strength of your food allergy Watch a Lifetime movie Get a lesbian inspired haircut Call your grandma Watch Silence of the Lambs while eating...
Apr 20th
1 note
3 tags
Ode to Food
People asked me to write about food. So, here is my Winona Judd inspired poem:  Oh food! Oh food! You are so good. You make me happy, until I’m nude.  You’re cooked, you’re baked, you’re toasted and fried. I blame you for the weight that has gained on my side. You get me in the mood, the mood to binge. When I see a meal my jaws unhinge.  I’ll eat you now,...
Apr 19th
My Mind Is an Open Blog
Ask me anything 
Apr 18th
“When life gives you lemons, use them as deodorant.”
Apr 17th
1 note
3 tags
Artist of the Week: Diagram of the Heart
To Life Dead Famous Dead Famous(Vegas Baby Remix)
Apr 17th
9 tags
Unnatural Order of the Universe
Arbys running out of roast beef. (1/6/08 - A sad day indeed) Ke$ha having an IQ of 150. True Story. Ron Howard would love her beautiful mind. Doesn’t stop her from dancing like she’s dumb dumb dumbdumbdumbdumb. How young Jackie Chan looks. Asian+Vampire = a deadly combination. Jillian Michaels’ body. Lady Gaga’s baby horns. The amount of times Perez Hilton has broken my...
Apr 11th
1 note
Vote
You can go vote for what I blog about next week, just go: http://emotionaleater69.blogspot.com/ You vote, I write. I write, you read. You read, you hopefully laugh.
Apr 11th