Did you feel that? A million fat people just started doing jumping jacks.
You get the point.
She scares the living fat out of every overly obese person alive.
A glance from her and you instantly lose two pounds. And the weight you don’t lose from her glances, she makes up with tears. She’ll make you cry till you look like an emaciated model withering within the issues of french Vogue.
She’s mean, she’s tough, and she works the kettlebell weights like the energizer bunny.
AND THIS JUST IN:
She’s adopting. But I have a question. Will she automatically put her baby on the 30 Day Shred? The baby’s fat will make her angry, I’m sure
THIS JUST IN: She’s leaving The Biggest Loser.
Do you hear that? No, that’s not thunder. That’s 1,000 fat Angels clapping.